Lobola

WARNING: Graphic animal slaughter footage below!  You’ve been warned…

I was the official wedding photographer at my friend’s lobola ceremony a few months ago, and it was SO FUN!  Normally I despise large, traditional activities for the negative attention they bring to me.  (Marry me, give me your dog, give me your clothes, etc….)  But at this wedding, I knew both the bride and grooms’ families, so there was no awkward conversation or marriage proposals.  Being the photographer was also nice, because the bride went around explaining to everyone that I was developing the photos for them, so that let me mix in and out of every age and gender cluster without offending. 

Marriages in Swaziland are a union of two clans, and so the families get to know each other at large, festive celebrations spread out over years.  The ceremonies surrounding them take so long that I have yet to see a single wedding from the bride-snatching “teka” ritual to the finish. 

The part of the ceremony I’ll describe below is the first day of the “lobola” (bride price) portion of the ceremony that I photographed.  This is the second major weekend of festivities following the bride-snatching teka ritual, but could happen years after the teka.  For instance, my friend who is getting married was teka-d by her husband when she was 18.  They have raised four children together, two of whom are already adults themselves.  His family has only just recently collected enough cows to pay lobola, so that in part explains the typical long delay between teka and lobola ceremonies.      

Anyways, the lobola is a two-day ceremony.  On Saturday, the two families reside, cook, and eat on two separate homesteads.  A goat is slaughtered at each and cooked for everyone. 

I stay on my friend’s homestead, and she makes a beautiful blushing bride. 

Everyone cooks, sleeps, and dances around.  The girls and men show off their traditional dancing.  Everyone sings and claps while one individual is given the floor to show off their moves.  Nothing is funnier to them than when I try the traditional high-kicks characteristic of Swazi dancing. 

I lay dozing on a grass mat when I overhear the old men talking about me and wondering if I would like to be teka-d.  One hypothesizes that I would be offended, while others refute this and say that I am a Swazi now.  I startle them by laughing and responding in SiSwati that I don’t want to have a Swazi traditional wedding, but that I can respect the custom. 

Around 2 in the afternoon, the groom’s family assembles and sits on one side of the rondhuvel.  The bride’s family elders also file in and sit facing the groom’s family.  It is an intimate space.  I sit with the female elders on the groom’s side.  The bride and groom also sit with their families.

The bride’s family begins by the elders introducing themselves individually.  The grooms family choruses a response to each greeting; “Sizesazi, sizesazi, sizesazi.”  I don’t understand as it is in Zulu and I’m a bit rusty on my translation.  Thankfully, one of the elders catches my confusion and gives her responses in Swati for my benefit.  “Sitesati, sitesati, sitesati.”  It means “We came, we didn’t know.”  (Later in the week, I ask Peace Corp’s language and culture trainer why they say this and why it’s in Zulu, and he doesn’t know why- just knows that this is the way things are done). 

Then the delicate negotiations begin!  It is a fantastic exercise in Swazi compromise and conflict resolution.  Voices are kept soft and low as elders take turns speaking, eye contact is avoided, and everyone sits still until unanimous agreement can be reached.  Mostly male elders speak, but females are also listened to if they voice an opinion.  If an offer is deemed not serious, the other family guffaws gently and acts mildly offended.  The groom’s family opens with the offer of 5 cows, but there is much to discuss.  About 40 minutes in, the bride’s family leaves to conference in private.   They return with a counter-offer, and the groom’s family agrees.     

The final offer is 7 cows plus 1,000 cash.  The groom’s family has only brought 800 with them, though, so Scruff-T is offered as collateral should they fail to pay the remaining 200.  She sits like a good girl between my legs during the entire lobola negotiations.  At several points she even snorts at the correct moments, which caused the families to chuckle warily at how perceptive she was.

Then the groom’s family veils the bride, who is crying.  They drape the female elders of the bride’s family with blankets and shawls.  They have accepted her into their family and the negotiations are complete. 

After that, everyone files outside and stands outside of the crawl.  Several young men go inside the crawl.  One has a spear and stalks the two cows that are to be slaughtered.  Perhaps sensing their impending doom, the normally docile cattle run back and forth skittishly as the young man walks behind them with his spear.

He strikes a large black cow just behind the front leg, striking the artery.  The cow is in a panic and somehow manages to jump the fence.  The crowd jeers and men quickly go restrain it with a rope.  It soon lays down and dies.

The second cow to be killed is brown.  He strikes this one more cleanly, and it stands patiently until it bleeds out.  The crowd erupts into cheers as it finally falls to its knees.

Quickly, knives and buckets are brought out and men and women expertly beginning skinning and butchering the cows.  

There’s a lot of laughter.  The cows will be eaten tomorrow.  For now, it’s just a party until the wee hours of the morning.