Why GLOW Matters
How many times have I seen this scenario play out in the bus
rank?
A man in his 20s or 30s approaches a schoolgirl. He starts out by grabbing her wrist, pinching
her rear, or otherwise invading her space.
The schoolgirl always reacts the same way; she instantly startles and
raises a fist in defense. The man is
already speaking by this point, soothing her with his voice that he is a
friend. She relaxes a bit and tries once
more to be free of him. If she starts
walking, he walks with her with a tight hold on her fist. If she is standing, he stays standing close
to her. He starts off with a joke and
she lets down her guard. Then he is
speaking in low, bedroom tones. He loves
her, he wants her number…she is the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. If he’s very bold- he wants to marry her and
make her pregnant with his babies. He
talks steadily at her, never bothering to ask how old she is or to learn her
name. She softens. Who wouldn’t be thrilled to be the recipient
of such crooning and attention? After
about 5 minutes of wearing down her defenses, he claims victory when she gives
up her phone number.
Will the girl make healthy choices with this man who claims
to love her before knowing her? Will he
be faithful? Will she insist on using a
condom?
If a girl felt loved and confident in whom she was, would
she succumb to that charming, much older kumbi conductor pressing his fingers
into her wrist in the bus rank? If she
was comfortable in her body, would she speak up about her bodily needs?
That is why the GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) program is so
important. It takes girls who may feel
unloved and undervalued and teaches them that they can do anything that they
want to. They are told that they are
valuable, taught that they have the right to bodily autonomy and encouraged to
have aspirations besides motherhood.
I know so many girls and women who desperately needed
something like GLOW;
-My friend contracted HIV when she was 14 years old from her
much older boyfriend. She told me that
if she had felt loved at home, if she knew that she had the right to say no,
she would not have consented.
-Another friend of mine has 7 children, most of whom she
didn’t want. She can’t take birth
control pills because her blood pressure is too high. Her boyfriend won’t wear a condom. When I train the men's soccer teams on reproductive health, they typically also bawk at the idea of wearing condoms. When I ask them if they would if their partner insisted, they always say they would. Perhaps it's just a matter of teaching the girls that they have the right to insist and that they must be vocal about their needs.
-Just last week, a 16 year old girl at my host brother’s
high school committed suicide when she found out she was pregnant and the
father denied paternity.
-A teenage girl I know took a martial arts class after
school and loved it. She stopped going
when the teacher kissed her. In other instances, I have seen male teachers discreetly hand money to
attractive female schoolgirls. I asked
some Swazi friends what this could mean, and they all indicated that my
terrible suspicion is probably accurate.
-My young SiSwati tutor is telling me about her “teka”
ceremony. In Swazi culture, it is called
“juma” when a woman spends the night at the homestead of her boyfriend. If the boyfriend’s family wants her to marry
him, they might perform the bride-snatching ceremony called “teka”, during
which the girl is dragged early in the morning from bed, stripped naked, and
made to sit in the cattle kraal until she cries. There is no such thing as divorce if one
marries under Swazi customary law, so the bride has little recourse. I ask my tutor if she wanted to marry her
husband. She is silent for a moment,
then says “I was brilliant in school. I
was always position one or position two.
I was too young. I had no
choice.” I ask her then if her in-laws
are kind to her, as the Swazi wife must obediently live on her husband’s
family’s homestead once married. She is
again too silent for such a talkative lady.
Then slowly, “I am used to it now.”
Apparently (in my chiefdoms at least), the bride-snatching ritual
changed in 2012. Now, the girls are
first taken to the Umphakatsi, where they must tell the chief or headman if they
want to marry the man. If they say that
they don’t want to marry him, then the man is not allowed to perform the teka
ceremony on her. It is fantastic
progress, but sadly too late for my friend who was tekad in 2011.
……. I wish that my SiSwati teacher were the only woman I knew who was tekad against her will. I wish that the teen pregnancy rate at my rural high school didn't cause 1/3 of all girls to drop out before graduating. I wish that strong female friendships were encouraged the same way strong male friendships are here.
Programs like GLOW are badly needed. At Camp GLOW, girls get a chance to learn to take pride in themselves,
their minds, and their bodies.
The program includes;
-Comprehensive health education (delaying sexual debut,
abstinence, male and female condom use, birth control, STIs, HIV, healthy
relationships, managing menstruation, individual nurse consultations, male and
female role models panel)
-Career guidance
(interviewing, resume writing, how to apply to university, job fair,
goal-setting)
-Artistic expression (painting, screen printing, spoken
word, singing, talent show, dancing)
-Leadership back home (community service project design,
teamwork, founding a club, educating peers)
In the evenings, girls can choose between; self-defense,
knitting, homemade sanitary pads, financial literacy, sports, and much
more!
It’s amazing how rapidly the girls bond. It’s also amazing to see how quickly their
self-esteem rises.
There is no quantifying what impact this program has. If even one girl decides to wait to have sex,
or feels strong enough to ask her partner to wear a condom, then it was all
worth it. Maybe one of these girls will
someday become the first female prime minister of Swaziland. The important part, however, is that every
girl there believes that she has the potential to be prime minister
someday.
CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO CAMP GLOW
We need to raise $9,000 by December. Because Swazis also recognize how important
it is to give these girls the tools they need to succeed, all of the counselors
and guest speakers are helping at camp pro-bono. Your donation will be spent on a counselor training
seminar, transporting the 75 girls to the campsite, feeding them, and paying
for their lodging. Because the US dollar
goes a long way here, no amount is too small. Thank you in advance for your generous support.
